AN ED EDD N EDDY CHRISTMAS EXPLOSION EXTENDED
by The Insanity Master
Summary: The edited version of an old story  Old one deleted  Previous Reviewers, Please "RE-REVIEW"


Quick reminder, this is the story of Christmas prior to Jingle Jingle Jangle. I altered a little bit of the timeline.

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><p><em><strong>An Ed Edd N' Eddy Christmas EXPLOSION!<strong>_

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><p>We see the 13 year old kids rush out of school for Christmas break. The Eds are trying to make Ed sing Adam Sandler songs for cash. "Adam Sandler? Is that <em>really<em> the best you dorks can do?" Kevin taunted. "Actually Kevin, Adam Sandler has some songs that have actually become timeless classics." Edd corrected. "Whatever. Hey everyone! _Except the Eds. _Sour jawbreakers, and Kroka-Cola over at my place!" Kevin yelled. "YEAH!" Everyone (Save for the Eds.) yelled all together. As everyone left, disaster struck: KANKERS! "SHE-DEVILS FROM PLANET ONION JUICE, AT NINE O-CLOCK!" Ed screamed. "Hiya boyfriends!" Marie, yelled. "Fear not, my friends! My plasma witch repellent, shall protect us." Ed said."Ed, that's a Star of David." Said Eddy. Tears shed from Edd's eyes. "What's with you sock-head?" Eddy demanded. "Have, you no respect for a Jew?" Edd yelled shocking everyone. "Your Jewish? That's nothing to be ashamed of!" Marie said. "I'm not ashamed. What Ed did was completely racist." Replied Edd. "Why did you never tell us? But more strange, why did you celebrate every Christmas with us?" Ed asked. "My hometown was actually Lemon Brook. The kids beat me up, because of my religion. Afraid of getting beat up here, I had my parents promise me that we would start fresh, and try Christmas, stuff." [_Will Ed Grimes, Eddward Johnson, and Eddy McGee report to the principle's office.] _"OH, COME ON!" Eddy yelled. "NO! Ed does not want to miss the world premiere of _Chucky meets Leatherface_, on EPIC TV!" Ed screamed. "Ed, that's not until 3am tonight. And if we don't go we could be grounded."

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><p>"I heard that you three, are business men?" Principle Griffon asked. Griffon was around 40 to 46 years old. He had brown eyes, thick black hair, with a little grey, and wore blue overalls. He was a little chubby, and some say he was kind of a pervert. "Technically yes, but we've never succeeded." Edd answered. "I see you were copying another one of your brother's scams Eddy." Said Griffon."I didn't even know, Lars had a scam like that!"Eddy replied. "Let's cut to the chase shall we. As you know, we let school out after Hanukkah and it starts again the day after Christmas. The Peach Creek Holiday Festival is a three day straight event, and staff is low this year. We need a chef, an entertainer, and a guide for tourists of the neighboring cities. And I think you three would be perfect!" Griffon said. "HUH?" The Eds said all together. "Think about it! Eddy as the chef, Ed as the entertainer, and Eddward as the guide! And before you decline, if you do a good job, you get 500 dollars, each!" "DONE!" Eddy declared. "But Eddy, some of the richest, men and women in the state of Illinois, will be coming! How will we please them? Watch and learn, JEW! Come to my place! Besides, how hard can it be to be a tour guide, when you've got an encyclopedic knowledge of Peach Creek AND Lemon Brook's history!" Eddy said as they left. "Now, that that's over with, time for some fun!" And we see Griffon pull a beer out of the fridge, pull Hustler out of his desk, and we hear the unzipping of his pants.<p>

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><p>Ed and Edd are waiting for Eddy in his room. He came in with three books. "What are those?" Edd asked. "<em>Bibles<em>, Double D, bibles. These are my brothers Journals. But instead of emotions, they are _secrets of power_! Book 1, whenever a recipe popped into his head, he wrote it down here. Book 2, whenever he thought of ways to amuse, he put in here. Book 3, Ways to amaze the wealthy, _ditto_." Eddy explained. "Everything we need to succeed?" Edd asked. "Correct, Double D!" [CALL FROM: _Principle Griffon_] said Edd's phone. "Hello?" Edd asked. "_Eddward? It's Principle Griffon. Your gonna need to work extra. It turns out, Victor Braun is coming in from Raspberry Springs." _Griffon stated. "You mean, the owner of The _Eden Tower_ casino and luxury condo? _THAT_ VICTOR BRAUN?" Edd asked. "_Yes. And not only that, but we're low on money, we don't know where to stage the festival, and we need fancy gambling games, and architecture. The future of our town now rests in your hands. Bye." _Griffon finished. "I heard the whole thing Double D. And I know _just_ what to do! We're gonna turn the abandoned house on stem street, into the ultimate, Vegas/Hollywood style, pleasure dome! But first we need that artist, Jimmy's help." Eddy spoke. "CHOCOLATE!" Ed said out of nowhere.

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><p>"Your words, are <em>cheap<em> Eddy. But my skills are very,_ very_, expensive." Jimmy spoke. "Think of the money, _James_! You _always_ wanted to be famous. Friends, help each other right?" Eddy bribed. "Actually Eddy, this fanfic takes place four years before BPS, and technically we're not friends until then." Said Edd. "What the hell are you talking, about?" Eddy asked as if he did not know that in 2009, he was in the EEnE movie. "Never mind." Edd finished. "Tell you what. Throw in 10% of the profit, and you've got yourself a deal." Said Jimmy. "You can have 20%!" Eddy replied. "Don't come to any conclusions YET! I require the incredible strength of ROLF!" Said Jimmy.

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><p><em><strong>LATER…..<strong>_

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><p>"Yes, Rolf will provide the strength boy, Jimmy requires. <em>For a price.<em> The dim-witted Ed boy's _SCREAM!_" Rolf said. "Why would you want to hear Ed's foul nightmarish scream?" Edd asked. "In The Old Country, the loudness of two men's screams, was a sign of good fortune, in their futures!" Rolf explained. "Okay, that sounds reasonable." Edd said. We see the ritual begin, and the combined screams, are so loud that a cow explodes, and the guts splatter all over Edd's shirt, which Eddy catches on camera, because Edd pushed him to record the ritual for culture class. _"HELLO YOUTUBE BITCHES!" _Eddy screams and runs to his house.

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><p>"Good to see you again, Charles." Mayor Warren Scott said to Principle Griffon. We are viewing the completely remodeled, Johnson Leonard house on Stem Street. The Eds go inside with Griffon and Mayor Scott, and we see gambling games, gold floor tiles, a stage, stone statues of Greek mythological creatures, a bar, a spa, dining tables, amps on the stage, a kitchen, an arcade, a dance floor, a 10 foot 3-D television, a robotic bull ride, and a special room for teens, called <em>The Love Machine Lounge. <em>"You did all this? I have to say I'm impressed!" Mayor Scott complimented. Mayor Scott was around Griffon's age, a few inches taller than Ed, he was bald, had glasses, yellow teeth from cigars, and a beer tattoo on his arm. "Remember boys, you need to work a FULL 60 hours! Can you handle that?" Griffon asked. "Don't worry. I found the recipe for my brother's _special_ energy drink." In the morning the festival began. Braun sat down and the waiter came up to him. "I KNOW WHO'S WORKING THIS PLACE! TELL ED EDD N' EDDY TO HIT ME WITH THEIR BEST SHOT!"

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><p>There were even some people from out of state there. "As I was saying,(Edd began) McGee lost Peach Creek, in a gambling bet to…." "HEY! It's <strong>JINXED JEW JOHNSON<strong>!" A native, of Lemon Brook yelled. "Hello Jack." Edd said with his back turned. "Still got that sock hat from my _Infamous Assault_?" Jack asked. "Yes. I'm surprised you didn't go juvenile court." Edd replied looking a little ticked. "I did, but I was bailed out." After a long while of taunting Edd, he finally snapped and punched Jack, knocking his head off his neck cartoon style. "WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO SOMETHIN' LIKE THAT?" Jack yelled. "Thanks. Tonight you made me realize that me being a wimp is BULL SHIT! Now get the hell outta here before I have my friend sling-shot your ass to Alpha Centauri!" We see Braun rub his chin, suggesting he was impressed by Edd's actions. "What was Jack's _Infamous Assault_?" Eddy asked. "Is he the CyberMutant from planet EVO TWENTY-ONE HUNDRED?" Ed asked. "I'll show you guys." Edd said and pulled of his hat, revealing a place on his head with crust, pimples, mold, and even some veins showing. "_The Infamous Assault_, was Jack's plan to massacre all he, and the_ Infamy Gangers_, of Lemon Brook hated. Jack's older brother, Bo, was the _Infamy Gangers'_ second in command at the time. I was 1 on their most wanted list. The police caught the gangers just as Jack was about to kill me. He knew he didn't have time, so he just splashed the fry oil on my head thinking it would burn through my skull, to my brain. Instead it put me in a coma, for 3 months. When I woke up, my parents told me we were moving." Edd explained. "That's a sad story." Eddy replied. "Uh-Oh, Eddy give me some N-err-G drink! I gotta get on stage!" Ed rushed.

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><p>When Ed got on stage, Kevin yelled: "HEY? What's the DORK doing on stage? This is EPIC TV we're on, not IDIOT ENTERTAINMENT!" making most of the audience laugh. "Yeah, he's just a chinless fathead!" Sara put in making the audience laugh even more. "Plank says: ENTERTAIN US YOU PUSSY!" Yelled Jonny. "SHUT THE HELL UP, ALL OF YOU! I GOT SOMETING TO SAY! DJ! LAY DOWN A KICK-ASS BEAT! Ed yelled and began to rap:<p>

"I AM THE ONE YOU TRY TO KILL BUT I REFUSE TO DIE! YOU THINK I'M A DORK? GO TO HELL AND FRY! JUST GO HOME AND WAD UP SOME GRASS! GET OUTTA MY SIGHT, OR I'LL CHUCK NORRIS YOUR ASS!" Making the audience cheer and surprise the Kankers. Kevin got on stage with Ed.

Kevin: YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD BE COOL, BY STARTIN' A BATTLE OF RAP, BUT IF YOUR REALLY ONE OF US, YOU'LL DRINK THIS TREE SAP!

Ed: GUG! GUG! GUG! YEAH, I DRANK THAT SAP! NOW I'M GONNA NUKE YOU, LIKE A WORLD WAR, JAP! (No offense intended Asian readers.)

Kevin: SO YOU WANNA JOIN THE SCHOOL OF HARD KNOCKS? THEN WITH YOUR OWN DICK YOU'LL BREAK THESE CONCRETE ROCKS!

Ed: CRUSH! CRUSH! CRUSH! I'VE GOT BALLS OF STEEL! TREAT ME WITH RESPECT, OR MY WRATH YOU'LL FEEL!

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><p>The rap soon ended, Edd and Ed were all new people. Time passed and soon the festival ended with Victor Braun more impressed, with the Eds' actions. "Ed, Double D, Eddy?" The Kankers began. "What do YOU want, Kankers?" Eddy asked. "Everything, you said and did tonight, changed how we feel." Lee began. "All of it made us realize that we were being total sluts, and if we continued, we would never truly win your hearts!" Marie continued. "Do you think we could start over?" May ended. "Don't you realize, that we've loved you all this time?" Ed began. "WHAT?" The Kankers asked in unision. "We've just been waiting for you to admit you've been skanks!" Eddy continued. "Then we would accept you!" Edd finished. "So we can start over?" Marie asked. "YES!" The Eds said in unision. "Hey there! Could I talk to you, Eds?" Braun asked. "Sure" Said Eddy. "You think, the reason I came here from Raspberry Springs, was for music, peach pie, and thrills. I was really looking for an addition to <em>Eden Tower<em>! Ed's rap, was incredible, the one you call Double D would make an excellent bouncer with a little excercise, But **Eddy **will be the next chef in the kitchen,AND manager of the penthouse! _IF he accepts_." Braun finished. "Me at a casino? I… I don't know…" We see Eddy flashback to all the good times he had. "Mr. Braun. No deal. Sure you could make me rich, but I already, have so much gold! Friends, family, fun, and now love." Eddy explained. "I understand. but if you ever need anything, you know where I'm at." Victor said and left, as did the Eds and Kankers. "All right, let's tear down this pile o' shit!" A construction worker said. We see a wrecking ball, crash through the restroom where Griffon is reading a 1996 PLAYBOY, and the screen is carried away by the wrecking ball.

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><p><strong>THE END!<strong>


End file.
